Oh Dear.

Hmm. So. Alike to my post below, I'm having friend issues.


Oh happy day!


Yes yes. I'm starting to actually hold grudges against. Sooo basically, to sum it all up, I hate them. Wait. Scratch that. I loathe them.

Well, first it started off at Math. Yay math. So, onward, the teacher said we had to work in a group of 4. So yarr, I was thinking I'd be left alone, because everyone else would find a group, blah blah blah.

But appearentlty, Stacey drug me into her group. Hm so, we had to hand in one paper. I was the writer. I was the thinker, with a bit of help from Stacey. The rest of the group did diddly shit. How nice of them.

They were running about the room, talking to other people. Oh dear! Talking to people is extremely more important than helping Leah! Oh my.

-.- Insolent little bitches.

Then, Stacey leaves me, so I get to finish the whole damn thing by myself.

I was extremely tempted to erase their God-Forsaken names off the page.

I know I may be a bit over-reacting, but I've been going through a lot of shit these past few months, and I can't/won't tolerate anybody.

My patience is worn down quite a bit.

Blah.

Rant.

Humm.

Well. This week has been.... Oddly I should say.


Things don't feel entirely the same. And the days go by ever so slowly. Gosh. I hate it when it's like this.

The past few weeks I've been kind of avoiding my friends.... ; I'm becoming more and more of an anti-social.


Ah. Oh well. It'll soon be over.


Hmm. Soo. I've been drawing a lot more now; putting pictures on DeviantArt almost everyday now. Makes me feel a tad bit special when people comment on them. ;D

Moo-hoo.

I really like to shower with my socks on.



For some reason, I always forget to take them off.

MmHMMmMMm.



;D I'm quite a jealous little bitch. I've just noticed that.

Go me.

-Pom poms- RAWr B.I.T.C.u.i.y.r.

That's right. It's because I'm having an affair with those letters.

u.i.y.r.

Hm hmm.

Welllll....... This post might be a tad bit long. o.<

The last post stated that I lost Little Buddy - but the next day she came back.

I was rather glad that she did, because I was so freakin' worried about that dumb whore. Anyhoo, a lot happened since then. We decided to give her away to my Aunt, because she wants to be outside more frequently - which I understand, but basically, all the time she wants out there, and has nothing to do with us. ; So yarr, we made arrangements with my Aunt to drop her at her house {Which is a farm...}. Soo, I wasn't expecting anything to happen over the weekend; thinking I was just going to stay here and stare at the wall, but my Father got asked to work overtime at work, so, since my Mother was working over the weekend, Father thought he might as well too. SOooo he of course, drags Megan and Me along with him, for the trip. We took Little Buddy with us, and dropped her off at my Aunt's. Gosh. It feels odd just, up and dumping her off at someone's house. Extremely odd.... It's like as if it hasn't really, regestured in my mind yet. ;

But anyhooo, we got our little fuzzy dog-like-thing, and it's adorable as Hell. We don't have a name for him yet, but I'll call him Puppeh for now. ;D


Anyhooo, yarr. During the week, I usually have something to look forward to; so the days don't drag by so slowly. But recently, I don't have anything to look forward to. It's quite depressing actually.

Meh hehhh. A distant cousin of mine was killed in a car crash - ditch jumpin'. Gosh. That's just sick. He was thrown out of the vehicle, and basically was brain dead, which ment he was already doomed for Death. But, at first, the other people in the vehicle couldn't find the boy. Appearently he was thrown out a good ways from the car. And all of this happened, right inside town. That disgusts me. I feel sorry for the boy - because if he would of wore his seatbelt, alike to the other people in the car, he would of lived. But nooo. Someone has to learn a lesson - so their friend dies. Gosh. The funeral is going to be on this Tuesday, after Victoria Day, but I couldn't force myself to go to it.

Mmhmm. Soo, I have the For Sale sign on my house. Gosh. Just looking out at it makes me feel so shitty. Yes. I still haven't come to realization that we're moving. I don't know what's wrong with me lately; I tend to ignore matters. I'm in a constant blah mood. Perhaps when school's over and shit, I can finally relax and think about the move. I hate to say this, but I actually want to. I don't really have any good.... Relationships with people here, like Coronach, I had lots of friends I would have hated to part with. People here are just... People. Maybe it's because people don't usually awknowledge me, so that's probably for the best; so I don't get too attached. Well, I was attached to a few people awhile ago, but now, I don't socialize much, so we've kind of drifted apart. Like I said before, that's probably for the best.

Rawrr

Hmm. Well.

It's Trent's Birthday today. ;O <33

I made him a cake, and celebrated with Tea and Apple Juice. ;D {Marc gave me the idearr.. >.>}

;DD


But. Alas. Something HAD to happen...

v.v -Sigh- I've lost Little Buddy.

AhuRrrr.

I drew a picture, which took me a few seconds.



It looks pretty ugly. BUT SURE.

I feel sick from eating too much junkfood.

;x

Oh hm.

Well. Brent broke up with me today.

;D

Happy thoughts.

Happy thoughts.




It consisted of vomiting, sobbing, and wall punching.




God I love my life.

Big-Ass Rant.

Gah. I'm in a fucking pissed off mood.

Honestly. People take me for granite too often.

Perhaps it's good that I'm moving - to get away from these asses.

Fuck. Gah. It has to be telling you something when someone doesn't want to hang out with you - especially if it's even your own boyfriend. God. I hate being the one that's making all the 'moves' in this relationship. It's as if he doesn't even give a fuck about anything about me anymore. Arg. I don't want to put up with any of this shit any longer. I just wish he'd start acting like he did before. -Sigh- But I still love him; and I couldn't do anything drastic in this realationship, especially breaking up.

I know I know, I may be a little over reacting, but Hell. I'm pissed off and I'm gonna bitch 'till my heart's content.

Mm, I went for a walk to try to 'cool my jets', but alas, that failed horribly. It made me even more pissed off. I was depressed, and I felt like just up and dying.

Summers have a knack for these sort of things. Curse Summer. I'm always so God-Damned depressed during them.


Hm. Well. I guess my Birthday is coming up in a while..... Blah. It's not as if anyone cares though. :\


Heh well. I don't think anyone would be reading this -shrugs-, but if someone does, this is Lear just being mad, and being a sissy little girl that needs some affection.

And if Brent does read this, I'm just over-reacting... It's just that we haven't hung out in a while...Because he's been so busy.

-Sigh- <3

My family had another huge fight again last night, resulting in making everyone even pissier than we usually were. My sister was looking up apartments, a job, and some other shit, as she proclaimed that she wasn't going to move, and told the parents that I was going to live with her. I of course, wouldn't mind living with her and shit, but for some reason, I can't see it turning out very well. Blehh. I tried to avoid that conversation, and went to bed extremely early.

Hm. Well, we were suppost to get a dog. But yarr. My Mother just had to throw a hissy-fit, and get her damn way again. God. It pisses me off how she's always the 'One in charge', as if my Father doesn't have a say in anything. Grrr. I just wish things were back to normal; we still lived in Coronach, then we wouldn't be dealing with any of this shit.

Alright. I've noticed that I'm a extremely clingy person. Perhaps it's a good thing, or not. :\ I know. I'm horrid.

And to top it off, I'm getting worked up over the stupidest things. Note To Self: Never listen to friends.

Anyhoo, I'm tired, and it's been raining for almost 2 days. Gosh. I love the rain.

I finally got my The 69 Eyes cd from Marcus, and boy is it good. I feel bad though, because he bought it for me and such. Grr. I need to get something for him. -Sigh-


Yarr. I'm in a very dull mood.

BLUah.

HMm. Soo. Tonight's going to be pretty boring.

Brent's out 'working' so I'm going to stay home, pretend to be cool, and have friends.

Sounds like a plan.

>.>

<.<

Ahar yes.

I'm still in my P.j's, and I refuse to get out of them. I can't stand those tight-ass pants and shirts. They upset Lear. ;<

Anyhoo, I'm through this whole debate I've been having with myself; starting to have second thoughts about things. But I've made up my mind, and I think I'll just leave it as it is, and hopefully things will turn out swell. ^^

<3

Moo.

Mmmmrr. Alright.

It's finally the weekend, and not a moment too soon. Whew.

I of course, am doing the same usual shit; listening to music, along doodling a few things. I'm in a fairly decent mood.

Do do doo.

I've been listening to Children of Bodom a lot these past few days. Don't exactly know why.

Hmm, well, school is basically the same old shit, blah blah Blahharrr. Nothing too drastic happening... Well, not that I know of.

But, I do find it funny when people can change so quickly. Hm. Here. Let me give you an example..

Pretend there's a 'boy' and he's just like any other dude. One day, he finds out that a certain group of people appear to him as 'cool' or 'popular', so he changes himself in order to become that certain label. Therefore, he's trying to become something he isn't. Lear labels these losers as 'Posers/Ugly People'. Then, if that group thing isn't working out, he switches yet again.

You see, Lear hates those kinds of people; who change their minds quickly, so they don't get singled out. C'mon people. Gosh. Just be yourself. Gah. I can't stress enough of this. -Shakes fist-

Anyhoo. Hrm. For now everything seems well, like I stated before. But a tad bit confused, from some information I received today. I sure hope it turns out well. I really don't want anyone to be suffering over my decision.

Meh hehh. I sure hope this weekend turns out good - Finally, some decent Sleep-Time.

;D

Blah.

These past few days have been, a bit offset?

Yes. I think that's probably the best word to describe it.

With the whole 'Moving' idea, I can't help but get slowly devoured in my Self-Pity, yet again. It just seemed like yesterday, I moved here; being absolutely scared of every-single-thing. Gosh. I couldn't handle that suspense, on that first day of school, as everyone stared at me, sizing me down. But, I have to say, I've changed slightly; not being as shy as I was before. But still, I have those times I feel I just rather watch and listen to people, rather than speaking. Odd, I know.

It feels a bit, oddly now that I'm finally dating someone. I've gotten quite used to people giving me the speach of 'I only think of you as a friend' shit, and now that finally someone likes me back, it makes me feel some-what accepted, for who I am.

I've also noticed, how my Family likes to pick-apart certain things about me. I know, I've changed a bit, or a whole lot, from different points of view, but that doesn't mean someone has the right to smash down someone's opinions or views. I find that extremely rude. Those fellow Family Members like to bitch at me about my hair - Oh yes, it's in my face. My clothing - Ohh, it's evil. And black. Grr. Evil Goth person. Even my scarf - You look suicidal. Okay. That's a bit over exaggerated. Don't they realize that I might actually like having that sort of style? It's a bit offensive especially when my Father said "I don't want to be embarrassed in public with you looking like a goof." Hm hurm. I shall never understand parents.

I guess I kind of stole the whole 'Journal' idea from Brent, because of his Online Blog. I find it quite interesting reading about other people's point of views on situations, and how they deal with it.

I think I'll be using this more often, so I can pour out these bottled up emotions, that'll probably burst about anytime soon.

Anyhoo, I doubt that anyone would read this; if so, only a sentence or two, then bitch at me for sounding like a Pitiful Emo Kid, seeking attention. Whoo-hoo.

But yes.

I couldn't give a fuck what you think about me. Unless, that is, if it's something quite nice.

<3